Surrounded by Godliness

Every year, my family and I make a trip to Nashville, Tennessee to see some of the most important people in our lives. The ten-hour drive is costly, but the return is a year’s worth of inspiration, wisdom, and encouragement.

First stop: Don. A 95-year-old former pastor who’s met presidents, led one of Nashville’s largest churches, and impacted thousands. But to me, he’s a gentle man of deep faith. A man from generational brokenness who simply believes God is who He says He is and lives like it every day. His joy is infectious. His heart is pure. He is a man worth emulating.

Next up: Steve. Born on the mission field, he’s a man who’s made discipleship his life. He’s the most intentional man I know, raising up godly husbands and fathers, as evident in the lives of his six children. His ten-year battle with ALS has taken his ability to move, but not his unshakable faith. He is the epitome of perseverance, courage, and hope.

Then we spent the week with my brother Ben, his beautiful wife, and their five children. Ben is a powerful man, full of dreams and the courage to chase them. He comes from a long line of wild men who leave a mark; some for good, some for bad. But Ben has let the Lord break the mustang inside him to be a force for godliness. His highs are high, his lows are low, but through it all he stays generous, humble, and full of hope. He is has a high tolerance for risk, which always leaves me questioning if I’m being risky enough.

Every year, the Lord uses these three men to make me a better one. There’s a saying: “More is caught than taught.” That’s exactly how I feel when I’m with them.

During our time together, there are no lessons being taught, only conversations being had. But a powerful thing happens when you surround yourself with men whose hearts are on fire for the Lord. 

They live lives fully committed to God. Intimacy with the Father that leads to action. They’re led by the Spirit and unafraid of scary things like risk, confession, and repentance. When they talk, they share what God is doing. What He’s saying. What He’s calling them to. And it all points back to Him.

On the way home, my wife and I talked about what the Lord did during our trip. It hit me that a sentence here and a story there had completely shifted my perspective.

I told Don how I’ve been prioritizing my marriage and seeing great fruit. His response? “Isn’t that the most important relationship you have here on earth?” Bam. I’m on the right track. Keep going.

Steve prayed over every topic we discussed. Note taken. The prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective. I’m more prone to action than prayer, and Steve’s example brings me back to center.

Ben gave me space to voice the dreams I’ve been too scared to share. We champion each other to do what only God can do. Reminding one another that God is faithful and He hasn’t failed us yet. Our relationship is iron sharpening iron. Being with Ben gives me the courage to obey God, even when the outcome is unclear. To live a life where I’m dead in the water if the Lord doesn’t show up.

I used to think “you are the culmination of your five closest friends” was just a cute quote. But it’s true. You will slide backward without men who call you up to more.

And may it always be so. I pray I never stop growing. Never stop becoming more like Jesus. The best way I know to do that is to be around men who push me into His presence. Who make intimacy with Jesus and life in the Spirit feel normal.

What’s the alternative? Go it alone? Good luck. Surround yourself with passive or negative men? Have fun with that.

Don and Steve are my generals, showing me how to be a godly man. Ben is my training partner, calling me up every time he pushes himself.

Who are you following? And who is calling you up to more?

Godliness doesn’t happen by accident. No one stumbles into holiness.

You make it happen. Go find older men to emulate. Surround yourself with brothers who are thriving in your weakest areas. They’re hard to find, and you’ll need courage to ask, but it will change your life.

You can do it. It’s never too late to become the man God created you to be. And if you need help, we’re here for you.

But make no mistake, it’s on you. You can delegate a lot of things in life, but this is not one of them.

Because the man you’re becoming is shaped by the men you surround yourself with.

Don’t settle. Don’t wait. Pursue godliness like your life depends on it, because it does.