The Journey Towards Connection

We were created for connection.

Before sin ever entered the world, God looked at Adam and said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” So He created relationship. He gave Adam a partner, someone to walk with, to know and be known by.

From the very beginning, connection was the design.

But then sin fractured that design. It separated us from God and from each other. Ever since, it feels like we’ve been trying to get back. Back to wholeness. Back to real connection. Back to the kind of love and relationship we were made for.

That’s the journey I find myself on.

Lately, I’ve noticed this protective armor around my heart. It’s not that I don’t feel things. I do. I can even tell you what’s going on inside me. But letting someone in to experience those emotions with me? That’s a different story. Vulnerability doesn’t come easy.

I’ve been working with a coach, and she’s helping me understand why. She pointed out something that hit me hard: because of my childhood, I never really learned how to connect. My dad left. My mom was doing her best to keep everything from falling apart. I didn’t attach to either of them. And now, decades later, I still find it difficult to connect. Even with my wife.

For the past forty years, I’ve been at war. Guarding my heart. Protecting myself from being hurt. And in doing that, I’ve kept myself from being truly known and truly loved.

But God is opening my eyes. He’s showing me that the life I want, the man I want to become, can only be found through connection. Connection to Him. Connection to others. Connection to myself.

And if connection really is this important, no wonder the enemy works so hard to keep us from it. He keeps us busy, so we don’t have time. He keeps us anxious, so we stay afraid. He loads us up with shame, so we hide.

The older I get, the harder connection seems to become. But if I’m going to invest my time and energy into anything, shouldn’t it be this?

I take care of my body, which is good, but what does health matter if I’m disconnected and alone? I work hard to build something meaningful in my career, but what’s the point of success if there’s no one truly close to share it with?

We don’t ever graduate from needing connection. It’s not a season we outgrow. It’s a lifelong need. And if I’m not intentional, I know I’ll come to the end of my life with this ache still inside me… this longing to be deeply known, and to know others in return.

But that doesn’t mean I give up. It means I lean in. I move connection to the top of the priority list.

I want to spend more time with God. I want to learn how to let Him into the deepest parts of my heart. I want to grow in emotional awareness, to learn how to name what I feel and handle it in healthy ways.

I want to connect with my kids, and not just in the day-to-day routines, but in ways that shape their hearts. I want to hug them, listen to them, and help them feel safe enough to be fully themselves. I want to model for them what connection looks like, so they grow up with a framework for love and presence.

I want to connect with my wife, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. I want her to know me, the real me, and to feel known by me too. That kind of intimacy is scary for someone like me, but I believe it’s worth fighting for.

I want to let my friends into my life in a deeper way. To share my fears, my dreams, my victories, and my struggles. I want to walk with them and be walked with in return.

I want to connect with God, not out of religious obligation, but from a place of sonship. I want to live in the truth that I am loved, chosen, and delighted in by my heavenly Father. I want to build my life on that foundation.

From the beginning, Scripture has been about connection. Jesus invites us into relationship with Him. He places us in families. He surrounds us with community. He reminds us again and again that love is the goal.

So what’s keeping you from connecting?

How connected are you to God? To your spouse? To your kids? To your friends? To your own heart?

What would it take to move toward deeper connection in those areas?

This is the journey I’m on. A journey to be fully known and fully loved. A journey to live connected. With God, with my wife, with my children, and with a few trusted others.

We talk often about the four main roles: son, husband, father, and brother. At the heart of each of those roles is one simple idea: connection. To God. To our spouse. To our children. To our friends.

It’s not easy. It’s unfamiliar. It’s uncomfortable. And most days, I don’t feel like I have the tools to do it well.

But I want to learn. I want to grow. I want to get better at this.

Because when I think about the man I want to be, he’s not just strong, or wise, or successful.

He’s connected.